When Does The Will to Win Turn to an Overwhemed Will?
As a father of two boys, I often wonder how my kids are going to turn out in terms of their ability to really do whatever it takes to win. In particular, what motivates kids to learn to push themselves fascinates me. My boys go to a school where the predominant philosophy seems to be that everyone is a winner, regardless of their performance. No Child Left Behind seems like a good thing too, but does it make kids too soft to win?
In the recent episode of the NBC show Parenthood desperate parents try and find the right balance with their spoiled seven year old. It's a tough lesson for both parents and child: between letting her win all the time and managing the tantrum when she loses.
In sports, winning is very black or white. You either win or you don't. As a teenager, I fought my way up to representing my country at the World Championship in Orienteering. Orienteering is a very tough sport. You race completely alone, against the clock, in unfamiliar terrain, with just a map and compass. Because you are alone, you don't even know until all competitors were finished how good your performance was, or if you had won or not. This meant a roller-coaster of emotions during and after the race until the results were finally known. After years of trial and error, I ended up excelling at this sport, partly because I learned to channel my anger and disappointment at a previous poor performance into a future positive attitude in order to have further success. The desire to win was a critical factor in my ability to redirect negative energy into increased determination to succeed.
The will to win is clear in this photo of me competing at the World Orienteering Championships in 1987. At this stage in my life, the sheer will to win led me to achieve a lot of success. I even started to think of myself as a classic overachiever, something I spoke about in previous posts. Eventually, however, my level of ambition was so high that the goals I was setting resulted in emotional and physical obstacles so great that they completely overwhelmed me. I ended up suffering from a kind of "achievement burnout". This was not exactly a bad thing - it set me on the path of looking for more balance, and towards spiritual teachings to access deeper meaning in life.
In the recent episode of the NBC show Parenthood desperate parents try and find the right balance with their spoiled seven year old. It's a tough lesson for both parents and child: between letting her win all the time and managing the tantrum when she loses.
In sports, winning is very black or white. You either win or you don't. As a teenager, I fought my way up to representing my country at the World Championship in Orienteering. Orienteering is a very tough sport. You race completely alone, against the clock, in unfamiliar terrain, with just a map and compass. Because you are alone, you don't even know until all competitors were finished how good your performance was, or if you had won or not. This meant a roller-coaster of emotions during and after the race until the results were finally known. After years of trial and error, I ended up excelling at this sport, partly because I learned to channel my anger and disappointment at a previous poor performance into a future positive attitude in order to have further success. The desire to win was a critical factor in my ability to redirect negative energy into increased determination to succeed.
The will to win is a great thing.
But when does the will to win become an overwhemed will?
The will to win is clear in this photo of me competing at the World Orienteering Championships in 1987. At this stage in my life, the sheer will to win led me to achieve a lot of success. I even started to think of myself as a classic overachiever, something I spoke about in previous posts. Eventually, however, my level of ambition was so high that the goals I was setting resulted in emotional and physical obstacles so great that they completely overwhelmed me. I ended up suffering from a kind of "achievement burnout". This was not exactly a bad thing - it set me on the path of looking for more balance, and towards spiritual teachings to access deeper meaning in life.
